A type of guilt

you lay there
comfortably
in the house they helped you build
afraid of becoming too complacent

you sit there
day after day
in the sunlit room
surrounded by smiles and encouragement
yet something inside screams for escape
for challenge
for the unknown

the routine feels safe
but safety isn't what you want
it's just what you've come to accept
and that scares you more than failure

you catch yourself thinking
"maybe i'm just bored"
"maybe i'm ungrateful" 
"maybe i'm jealous of others"
"maybe something's wrong with me"

you found yourself asking
who are you to want more
when you've been given everything?
is it ingratitude or ambition
that makes you restless in this worldly paradise?

what scares you more?
staying in this comfortable place
or risking everything on a new path
that might lead nowhere?

trapped not by their demands
but by your own sense of owing

from the outside looking in
everyone tells you to it's better to stay
that you'd be crazy to leave what you have
that the odds favor comfort and security

but they don't see
contentment may slowly hollows you out
how staying somewhere safe might protect you today
but steal something vital from you tomorrow

i have become too comfortable with my current situation. i can’t afford to be complacent any longer. even if i love where i am at right now, even if i know there’s a high chance that i’ll be better off here, is it really the best thing for me? is this what i need? and most importantly, is this what i truly want?

i ask myself, what is it do i want?

the feeling of indebtness is the reason why i’m afraid to move forward.

when i’m not sure of the path i must take, then what should i do?

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